…and Board Games
List /Thread nonsense continued
> Ok, so if Game Night ever rises again, like a
> JoeFU rising to get in ONE more pit dance to
> Floater, I have the PERFECT
> You see, instead of giving us bonuses, or throwing
> an insane party or
> whatever, the corporation that owns my company made
> a CUSTOM card game
> and gave each employee (like 100k of us) a copy!
> It’s called the …wait
> for it…
> Wolters Klouwer Knowledge Sharing Game!!!!
> Man, doesn’t that KICK ASS!
> You have to deal out all the cards and build sets
> that you lay down for
> points. The sets are RAD, i can see it now:
> “Colin, do you have any ‘Instruments of Payment’?”
> “No, you suck, cuz check out this sweet set- I got
> Data Platforms,
> BOYEEE, AND take this sweet Global Expansion SET,
> It’s exactly like Chez Geek, but with International
> Corporate Buzzwords
> and with none of the enjoyment.
Wow, this is just what my office needs!
We could call it TRUCK DRIVER DIVORCE or MICKEY-MOUSE
PERSONAL INJURY CLAIM or maybe TWEAKER BUST!
- And Grouchosuave sez:
Why not, man? I’d play it, Dave
Some of the cards in the deck:
* Drug Diversion Dipshit: “Client sleeps in (finally) over the screams of their children, misses counseling, misses appearance roll call. Eventually shows wearing one shoe.” Action: deduct 6+1xd6 from client health, 2 Billable-Hour tokens put in Toilet.
* Stubbed Toe Apocalypse (20 pts. allowance): “Deposition after conference after deposition with Crushing Ambivalence stealing your soul.” Action: Must deduct 1xd10 every turn to just bring the whiner’s case across the finish line in less than 4 turns. Reward: you win nothing. Failure: You have just killed your own Personal Injury Client.
* ManJam LAN Scrum: “Every site and server unavailable, every document template lost, Your desktop at the office is now a boat anchor. Your partner/or associate and his unattended BitTorrent client that’s downloading Dwarf/Ass fetish pornography, has crashed everything that plugs into a wall.” Action: Roll d20, less than 7:you must try to fix network built by the aforementioned asshole’s stoned nephew (without passwords). Roll above 7 and you leave the office and roll 2xd6: you go for a ride in the sunshine unless you roll less than a 4: You then get pistol from vehicle and thereby end everyone and their problems.
*GoldenSecretParachute: “Settlement windfall from forgotten bullshit case. Hidden assets of other party discovered while opposing counsel and client totally screw the pooch.” Action: Reverses ‘Stubbed Toe Apocalypse’. You bask in your own brilliance on office fieldtrip to Thailand.
wicked AND bitchin’