As prelude and introduction -
Peruse the sites linked below…… imbibe deeply of the the tawdry bloat, ego and gift shop crapulence… so as to prepare yourself for the tsunamic rant torrent that is to crash down post haste:
- the gl0ry that is Buzz Aldrin.com
- download Buzz’s rap single , “Rocket Experience,” (?&*!@!#!) from itunes
- for $900 the “Accutron Eagle Pilots Automatic Buzz” shpacey shpace chronograph is a steal!
Hero... Role Model... Lover, Fighter... Gene-ee-yus, Bedtime Tale, One-Stop Hero-Shop, Apostle, Rapper and Alcoholic - Buzz Fuckin Aldrin !
Buzz put himself in all our paths recently, as he is wont to do as self-appointed mouthpiece for all space exploration, all its attendant glories, itz xyience, and its clarion call to square-jaw’d ‘merikan heroics. Betwee his absurd predictions and the sermonizing about the right and inevitable course humanity must take in regards to mining Mars, (!) he graciously took time to do some promoion: of his speaking tour, of his website, his genuwine Buzz© mugs & tote bags, his children’s book, his signature premium line of adult diapers, his additions to the Ten Commandments and his cure-all Elixir for All-That-Ails-You (And don’t forget Da’ BuzzyBizzo cRunk space rap, “Rocket Experience”, available on iTunes!)
The more I dug into the man, his posturing and the peculiar apostolic ego flaring in orbit round his (admitted) alcoholism, the more I came to be utterly nauseated.
And this is what poking yourself with a stick can produce:: some fresh juice of the rant gland, some sicko sweet, bile of an ambrosia just for you….
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Fuck Buzz Aldrin. Yeah, that’s right. Fuck You, Buzz!
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“Fuck Buzz.Aldrin for “going to the moon.”
A giant military industrial complex went to the moon, you tard. You just met the charmed whiteboy idiot requirements to ride shotgun.; Not even a psycho, not even a jock bored cuz he ran out of dink babies to burn at Mach 1.5 t, not even a psycho test pilot who got hard at the prospect of jumping parachuteless into ferrari powered hangliders shaped like toasters… He was AirFArce! by choice! And son of an Army chaplain, btw…. a goddamn dirt eatin magic show clown for a dad… a PRESBYTERIAN magic show clown. The Uncles and Grandpaw of MY Danish Grampa had a word for their Prsby. Minister who dropped in without invitation and fucked up their card game in the kitchen: I believe it was “dumb lost whore.” …I wonder what that sounds like in Danish…
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Lengthy sidenote: Fuck You JFK! :
And this whole space moon thing? It just fell on you cuz at this turn of the screw, Moloch rode a fair haired horse, a second son to a crazed murdering crimelord who graduated the murderous muck of Prohibition Boston booze to become a pschotic fixer, And frst head of the SEC! (after being a bootlegger!) Now a backroom political pope and virulent breeder of his own hack army proving the possibilities of democracy by killing it from behind. Well the heir apparent to this pustulent empire volunteers for some fuckered up RAF hail mary fighter Charge of Light Brigade mission and doesn’t come down for breakfast cuz he iis at the bottom of the Channel without any more blood or ideas. Gimpy second son now has to parlay his FUBAR getting run over at night in a PT boat into Arthurian legend and testament to intellectual grandiosity and his total fuckability. Well, somewhere between fucking all the poozle between Berlin, Boston and the Beltway and calling Dr Benway daily to get shwacked/erect courtesy of the white trash Mugwump juice slammed between his toes or into his taint, Kennedy ‘numbahh too’ totally fucks the pooch with some Cuban science fiction beach theater. Well maybe this Vietnam thig will go well and that will save us eventually but in the meantime we need a feel good, PR slam dunk that also shifts billions to miltary-industial techno Babylon: Boingo!!! The muthafuckin’ Moon!!
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And Fuck you again, Buzz.
You only got the Gemini flight crew gig cuz our geniuses filled a vessel with ignitable oxygen, added miles and miles of sparking electrical circuits and then rigged the hatch to be unopenable. Oh yeah. Then they added three astronauts and burned them alive with cameras running.
You got that promotion Buzz. God Loves You.
And I guess he hated those other guys….
What were their names??
Perhaps you should sell a mug with their names on it In Memoriam on ‘StaBuzz Enterprises’ or the vast empire of bullshit that is Buzz Aldrin, Inc. / Buzz Aldrin.com
Fuck You Buzz for yourPhD.
His thesis? His original contribution to the canon? How to Dock Stuff with Line-of-Sight. Yeah, fisr’ ya gott fly et - den you put tab A into slot A – How you ask?? Thass right ; by using yer eyeballs!”
You gravytrained it as a ” war hero” (Yeah right – you downed 2 Migs in 66 outings – I guess the other 64 were occupied with optional targeting; like blowing enlisted men and civilians to bits from 20,000 feet in “the battle for their hearts and minds.” Congratulations. Their hearts and minds are over there in a muddy ditch. Go get ‘em before that starving dog eats them.”
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Y’know…
Perhaps that was a bit over the top?
… a little negative ?
….self-indulgent… wankerish…??
Pffffffftttt!!! It felt fabulous!
